Jack White Busts Von Bondie Ass
by Richelle Chuatuan | 00.00.0000

Who needs a seven nation army when you got Jack White on your side? For anyone who didn't think the pasty rocker could throw a punch, White proved all-a-yallz wrong when he allegedly incited a smackdown at Blanche's album release party last Saturday (Dec. 14). According to police reports, White punched the bejeezus (that's official cop jargon) out of Von Bondies frontman Jason Stollsteimer, who walked away from Detroit's Magic Stick club with a bloody nose and a black eye. Stollsteimer claims that he was "violently attacked" by White.

The Von Bondies's management released a blow-by-blow account of the brawl: "White approached Stollsteimer during the concert, physically forcing him against the speakers, and began shouting, 'Bitch, get yo fat head outta my face, I can't see the fuckin stage!' Stollsteimer attempted to turn his head, saying, 'Foo, why you gotta be trippin? Get yo stinky face outta my grill!' Visibly angered by Stollsteimer's unwillingness to argue or fight, White spat into Stollsteimer's face and punched him in the head and face repeatedly. White then forced Stollsteimer to the ground and continued his attack until White was restrained by several crowd members." (Okay, so we took a few liberties with the dialogue, but you get the picture).

In the past, the dueling duo have denied rumors of any beef between them, and Jack even helped the Von Bondies kick off their career by adding them to the lineup on 2001's Sympathetic Sounds of Detroit compilation. In fact, he even produced their 2001 LP Lack of Communication. Both rockers filed police reports after the fight, but no charges have been leveled. The Detroit police are investigating the incident, and White might be slapped with misdemeanor assault charges even though he insists that he fought back in self-defense.

In the meantime, Jack and Meg White are getting ready for a handful of White Stripes shows coming up (that is, when Jack's not busy working out those biceps). They're ringing in the New Year with a Dec. 31 concert in Chicago with the Flaming Lips and Blanche, who will undoubtedly be keeping the incest jokes to a minimum to stay on Jack's good side.

Catch the Stripes at the following shows:
Dec. 31: Chicago (Aragon Ballroom)
Jan. 19: Liverpool, England (Royal Court)
Jan. 20-21: London (Alexandra Palace)
Jan. 23: Nottingham, England (Ice Arena)
Jan. 24-25: Glasgow, Scotland (SECC)
Jan. 27-28: Blackpool, England (Empress Ballroom)
Jan. 29: Brindlington, England (SPA)
Feb. 1: Paris (Zenith)